Everything in this world, I believe, comes with processes. Success, argument, reconciliation, engagement and disengagement of relationships and many more have steps by steps processes. All these processes require a common factor, communication. If this breaks down, the others will not work out as well.  

Relationship between couples, according to DeFleur et al, uses a framework of three processes. They are engagement, management, and disengagement. Engagement is not easy. However, it is the easiest among the three processes. Sincerity, genuine love and concern, perseverance are the basic few elements required to succeed, if you do not have the money or the physical appearance. Management is the hardest. One has to learn to give more than he or she takes. One must also possess several essential abilities, such as to trust, to tolerate, to understand, to forgive, to forget, to juggle well between the relationship and other commitments in life and to be faithful. Disengagement depends on situations. To some people, death may be a better way to separate couples because at least you know that your partner still loves you. On the other hand, some may think that falling for someone else is better because only one of the two would be really hurt. For me, I think the latter is better because though I do not believe that time can heal, I know that death may cause eternal pain.

First impression, I think, is the most significant. If you have failed to create a good one, try to make up for it, but I doubt it will be of much help. Relational formation and development depend a lot on physical appearance, though people always say, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”, who doesn’t? However, as long as your relationship with that particular person is established, then you can gradually put your concentration on how to maintain the relationship, because it would not be of such a great impact as it is before getting together. Moreover, perception of attractiveness changes over time. Now, you may be strong and muscular, but over a period of time, she might find those muscles disgusting. Judgements of physical attractiveness are influenced by cultural norms and socialization. If your society sees fat people as attractive, then naturally your ideal partner must be of a certain weight and size.

Next, it is also in human nature to choose partners who is similar to oneself. Through this, one can reduce uncertainties about them and the associated risks in the relationship. This also acts as a form of assurance to oneself. For instance, if this particular person you fancy is rich but stingy like you, you know that he or she is just trying to save up for rainy days because you do that for the same reason too.

On the other hand, if you have chosen someone who is very different from yourself, the possibility may be that you are looking for someone to complement you. These differences can sustain a relationship as they function better together than separately.

When you maintain a relationship, be aware of the gives and takes (relational capital). If you have taken too much, be sure that you give as much, because if you shortchange your partner over a long period of time, you cannot afford the consequence. Dependency can hurt a lot during dissolution. Self disclosure is one of the ways in ensuring that you do not shortchange your partner, tell him or her more about yourself and not just simply listen. Give them comments to show that you are interested.

Relationships are also formed between people who see each other almost every day (proximity) because there is more time for interaction and there is less intimidation and uncertainty. However, familiarity can also breed contempt (that is why couples, especially old couples quarrel most of the time).

People choose their partner often due to their competency as well. The more capable this person is, the more you would find him or her attractive. However, most of the time, this kind of liking will die down very soon or when that person fails in a way or the other.All in all, I believe a successful relationship requires genuine liking, mutual trust and there must also be self disclosure.

All in all, I believe a successful relationship requires genuine liking, mutual trust and there must also be self disclosure.

Life is short, make it sweet. Smile. =)